Do you secretly freak out at your single status? Well, maybe The Unexpected Joy of Being Single is a book for you. We find out what to expect and learn about the author Catherine Gray in a podcast from The One You Feed. You’ll find the podcast at the end of this article.
The Unexpected Joy Of Being Single. What a great title for a book, wouldn’t you agree? We were instantly curious! Given the documented rise in solo living and the growing number of singletons, this book is timely and expresses what many singles already know. Seasoned solos may be more ‘joyful’ than newbies because let’s face it – not everyone is completely comfortable with their single status. But, do we underestimate the joys of living alone and being single? Have we been slow to appreciate the benefits and are they only realised when a single life proves to be a long term experience?
In the quest to find out more about the author, Catherine Gray and her book, we came across a podcast where she speaks with Eric Zimmer at The One You Feed. We learn Catherine lives alone in a one bedroom apartment in Brighton. In this podcast, she talks about The Unexpected Joy Of Being Single and what it has been like to be single for many years. The ups and downs, her own personal journey and the misconceptions of others surrounding single life. The podcast gives us a taste of what to expect from the book which is also available in audio, narrated by Catherine herself.
Catherine is refreshingly candid and open about her experiences of love and relationships. She didn’t choose to be single and for a long time was caught up in the dating scene and all the entailing hoo-ha. Having travelled full circle through the highs and lows we, and society have of love, coupledom and being married; Catherine is now living a comfortable and joyful single life.
FIND THE PODCAST AT THE END OF THIS ARTICLE
The podcast explains what the book covers including:
- How being single is often seen as a ‘waiting existence’. That is, waiting to find ‘the one’ and why it’s now a misguided idea.
- The notion of the ‘grass being greener’ on the other side – when singles think life would be better with a partner and unhappy people in relationships dream of being single or with someone else.
- Why we shouldn’t be scared of being single.
- Love addiction (yes, it is a real thing!) and idealising relationships. Catherine talks from experience and what she has done to overcome love addiction. From taking a year off dating to addressing her own fears of being single, she has come to recognise platonic and familial love can be just as powerful as romantic love.
- Social conditioning around being single where the media, culture and society still portray singledom as a sad existence. Society needs to catch up with the growing number of singletons and take the pressure off!
- What we need to feel secure when it comes to our relationships. Apparently, five strong relationships in our lives are necessary because investing in only one is unlikely to fulfil our expectations.
Being a well-researched book, Catherine includes various findings from scientific research to underpin the ideas found in The Unexpected Joy Of Being Single. She explores the three main attachment styles (i.e. the way we connect with others): anxious, secure or avoidant when it comes to forming attachments and how we relate to the important people in our life. Also discussed is HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) because if we experience any one through the day, it may be the cause of common negative feelings.
Finally, during the interview, Catherine mentions how feeling overwhelmed and having ‘single sorrow days’ are normal and okay. Despite writing the book, admittedly she still has days like this, where her candour is to be admired. With humour, The Unexpected Joy of Being Single sets out to help us be happier and content, as singles; but reassuring in reminding us we’re also, still human after all.
From hearing Catherine speak, we can tell this has been a deep exploration of how it feels to be single while drawing on meaningful research to understand those feelings. With more people than ever before living a single life, the book provides helpful tools to show those of us who may benefit, how we can positively change our mindset and embrace our single status long term. It’s about us all accepting singledom as a normal way of life.
If this sparks your interest, you can buy the book or audiobook by clicking on the image below. We are definitely going to read it, so let us know what you think!